A Mother's Struggle

When Lalnunmawia was just a few months old his father passed away after contracting malaria. His mother struggled for years to care for him and his two elder siblings, eventually coming to the conclusion that there was no other option but to send them to live in an orphanage. 

Lalnunmawia was just four years old. 

With just a little support from extended family this could have been prevented, but due to a lack of awareness about the realities of life for children who live in large institutions, such as the effects on child development and the risks of abuse and exploitation, many people believe that this is the best place for them. Years went by and Lalnunmawia’s mother married a widower who had three children of his own, in turn having two more children together. By this time Lalnunmawia’s elder siblings had left the orphanage once they turned eighteen and returned to live with their mother and her new family. Their new step-father was a kind, loving man, and warmly welcomed the two children back home. 

Lalnunmawia was left alone at the orphanage. 

Lalnunmawia wanted to leave the orphanage and return to his family, having previously run away on one occasion. The one major factor that prevented him from leaving was the existence of a contract that had been created by the orphanage director, and signed by his mother. This contract stated that if Lalnunmawia left the home before his eighteenth birthday, his family would have to pay a large sum of money. What many families do not realise is that these contracts are illegal. (This practice is common, see Eden’s story here).

In January 2016, under the direction of the donor organisation, the orphanage joined the Kinnected program and after several months of work with the orphanage directors, KM social workers met Lalnunmawia for the first time. Following initial trust building, assessments were conducted with the child and also with his family in their village. In late 2016 he returned to his family for a short visit during his school holidays. It was the first time he had returned home in a decade, and he was elated to be back with his family.

During the visit, Lalnunmawia told his mother that he wanted to return home to stay during the summer holidays and help with their family business, so Lalnunmawia returned to the orphanage while family assessments continued. While it was clear that Lalnunmawia was eager to return home and that the family wanted him to return, Kinnected social workers stress the importance of ensuring that any child returning to their family is going back into a safe and loving environment. 

By the summer of 2017 family assessments were completed and Lalnunmawia could officially return home for good, with regular monitoring visits being conducted by the social worker.

Lalnunmawia with his Mother and Step-Father

Lalnunmawia with his Mother and Step-Father

Lalnunmawia settled in well and was so happy to have rediscovered his family. His step-father accepted him as his own, and together with his mother give him the love and nurture that had been lacking all the years he had been in the orphanage. He also reconnected with his older brother, with whom he now has a very close relationship. 

As is common with many children who leave institutions, Lalnunmawia struggled to adjust to other aspects of family life, specifically rejecting the authority of his mother and step-father having being out of their care for so long. After passing his Grade 8 exams, he refused to continue with his education, instead opting to find a job. Despite these hurdles, Lalnunmawia was still much happier and healthier at home and his social worker finally closed his case in June 2018, satisfied that although the situation was not perfect, he was in the right place. 

Lalnunmawia’s story is a reminder of how important it is to support families. If Lalnunmawia’s mother had received help and support following her husbands death, together with information that could have helped her make an informed decision about the care of her child, Lalnunmawia would never have been separated from his family.